Pregnancy and Infant Loss Observations, Tips for Support
MyMichigan Health will observe Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in October with pink and blue ribbons or special t-shirts worn by employees, volunteers and caregivers. MyMichigan Medical Center Alma will also participate in the International Wave of Light, a worldwide remembrance event on Tuesday, Oct. 15, from 7 to 8 p.m. During this time, candles will be lit at the Hospital Entrance to honor babies gone too soon and their families. Patients, staff and community members are welcome to attend.
To support families grieving the loss of a miscarriage, stillbirth or death of an infant, MyMichigan Health recommends speaking to the individual’s primary care provider or obstetrician/gynecologist; attending a local grief and loss support group with options available by visiting www.mymichigan.org/supportgroups or calling (800) 862-5002; or call 2-1-1 for a list of agencies that can provide resources and materials on the grieving process, financial assistance with funeral and other expenses, and options to address individualized needs.
For those supporting a grieving family member or friend, MyMichigan recommends the following tips on what to say or do: Acknowledge their loss in short, simple phrases, such as, “I’m sorry for your loss” or “I imagine this must be painful for you;” offer to listen if they want to talk and remember it is also okay to simply admit that you don’t know what to say; ask whether it is okay to talk about the baby and to use the baby’s name; avoid statements that downplay their emotions, tell them how to feel or attempt to find a “silver lining” in their grief, such as: “Everything happens for a reason,” “You’re young. You can still have another child,” “At least now you know you can get pregnant,” “It’s fortunate you didn’t really know him/her,” or “At least you weren’t that far along.
Additional tips include to remember the father, siblings and other family members. The focus tends to be on mothers, but the whole family may need your support. Be aware that men may feel the need to “be strong” which can impede their grieving process; offer to help with specific tasks. People who are grieving may not be able to identify their needs or ask for help. Offer to help with caring for other children, preparing meals, doing housework, funeral preparations, notifying extended family or friends, or creating a special memento or ritual to remember the baby. Remember that help and support may be especially needed after other helpers have moved on; acknowledge them as parents. This is often overlooked if they don’t have living children, yet they are parents and should be supported and addressed as parents, and remember them in years to come. Call, send a card, or offer to spend time with them on milestone days. Grief does not end with the delivery or memorial service.
Those interested in additional resources for supporting a loved one may visit marchofdimes.org or parents.com or starlegacyfoundation.org
